tofu surprise

so i went out last night and got a wee bit crunk. i seemed to be fine untill i got out of janines car, then i realised that i was REALLY crunk. so i came in and scoffed... wait for it....... tofu! and then this morning i felt really guilty. for scoffing tofu. now this is taking rediculousness to an entire new level. did anyone ever get far from pigging out on tofu? i dont think so somehow! u dont see japaneese people drinking too much sake, then scoffing a load of the stuff, folowed by either obesity or eating disorders. although last night i id go on the hunt for chocolate. there were like 10 bars yesterday morning then POOF last night i stumble in and its all gone? and it wasnt hidden. i looked. oh boy did i look. no chocolate. which is probably just as well. im pretty sure this jelly isnt vegetarian. oh wellll. i had the rest of the tofu surprise this morning (it was like tofu, brocoli, cherry tomatoes, mushrooms... some squash....all seasoned up with lemon pepper and baked with a tony bit o cheese on the top. although for some reason by the time i got to it last night basically all the cheese had gone, so i cant even feel guilty about the excessive mozarella...) omg ive got today and tomorrow and then its WEIGH IN TIMEEE! how terrifying is that. bloody terrifying i tell thee. all that tofu will have attached to my ass and ill be 5 lbs heavier. fucks sake. i need to do some more exercise. i haaadddd.... about 6 drinks last night (im a lightweight now) i wonder if they will have made a difference. i dont think so but u never know. alcohol has EMPTY CALORIESSSS!!! its like drinking sugar, that makes you easy, hahahahaa. theres a surfing competition today, im wondering if i should go. i think i should. janine is modeling in a bikini competition. i think she wants the moral support (have a little fanbase of one person) so i might go, be her groupie. ya know. my dad might come too and take some pictures. not of janine, of the surfers. that sounded a little creepy. hahaha oh dear! im gunna make some more sugar free jellyyyyy!

picturesss

the sunburn looks alot worse in person ahahaha. i need something to do!

god damn

all i want is a fucking massive chocolate cake! hot damn give me some BROWNIES!!! *chugs glass of water* i never thought about food while i was allowed to eat it all. now im focused on losing weight im OBSESSED with food i cant have!!! if i havent lost any weight by monday ill be depressed. deep depression. i want 2 lbs! ill be ok with 1 lb, 2 and ill be over the freekin moon. then ill know i just have to keep it up and ill be smokin by the time i get home. i keep thinking "imagine all the great sex i can have once im thin" hahahaha. silly thought but its keeping me going. nobody likes a fat chick. except chubby chasers. i hope u know who isnt a chubby chaser, athough he did squeeze my love handle when we were making out. not just a little squeeze, he full on squoze it. i mean its not a boob! its a fat roll. oh well!!!! im listening to the shins. man those brownies look good......

no water?

so the water has been off all day, and its still off. hello third world country! welcome home holly!
so i have just finished my personal statement for my university application, which i shall be uploading soonish. how freaky, then i need to get my old university to send transcripts.
i spent most of the day by the pool today. i have a very very slight tan going on now, yu can see it on my back, there is a nice tanline by my bum (oooh erh)
i should compile a list of things that i would like to do before i go home.
•lose some weight
•dye my hair darker than it is
•get more tanned
•firm up
•go swimming every day (ive done that so fa at least!)
•go on the internet less
•bla bla bla

if i actually had somehting to do i wouldnt have to go on the internet so much so its kinda pointless saying that. i should have put FIND SOMEHTING TO DO. im going to work for my mum on friday, doing property inventories or somehting.

david bowie and maximo park wil help me through these 2 long months on islandville.
here are some songs in particularly enjoying at the moment:
•david bowie - john, im only dancing
•maximo park - books from boxes
•maximo park - grafitti
•al green - tired of being alone
•arctic monkeys - flourescent adolescent
•bombay bicycle club - always like this
•chase & status - end credits
•the darkness - i believe in a thing called love
•does it offend you yeah? - dawn of the dead
•florence and the machine - dog days are over
•franz ferdinand - do you wanna
•the futureheads - hounds of love
•grizzly bear - two weeks
•the libertines - dont look back into the sun
•the maccabees - about your dress
•passionpit - little secrets
•vampire weekend - campus

thats just to name a few :P

I REALLY NEED A SHOWER!

urghh

its been about 2 months since my last blog
which looking back on, is a load of bollocks.
im back home. ive been here 24 hours and im tearing my hair out already.
fucks sake hahaha.
its actually pretty typical
about a week ago i hooked up with someone i actually quite fancy at a work thing
and then poooft! i have to come back to barbados
dont get me wrong, im not all upset about being home because i like someone
im upset about being at home because its awfull here
al my friends want to do is drink and party
which i did before when i lived here because it was all there was to do
but now i dono.... i just dont fancy going and getting plastered and hooking up with a random tourist
and lets face it, the selection of local guys here is pretty poor.
anyway moving along!
as im here for ages and ages ive decided im going to attempt to lose 17 lbs to be exact
which works ut to about 2 lbs a week
which doesnt sound too dificult
i say that, but i always make these plans and never follow them through
althouth i think im pretty motivated for this one
not too sure why
im just fed up of being flabby i guess

anyway! this moning i went for a swim, did 50 laps of the pool. thats got to do me some good right? im totally bored of blogging already. i shall find the inspiration to do another update soon!!! laters taters x