tofu surprise

so i went out last night and got a wee bit crunk. i seemed to be fine untill i got out of janines car, then i realised that i was REALLY crunk. so i came in and scoffed... wait for it....... tofu! and then this morning i felt really guilty. for scoffing tofu. now this is taking rediculousness to an entire new level. did anyone ever get far from pigging out on tofu? i dont think so somehow! u dont see japaneese people drinking too much sake, then scoffing a load of the stuff, folowed by either obesity or eating disorders. although last night i id go on the hunt for chocolate. there were like 10 bars yesterday morning then POOF last night i stumble in and its all gone? and it wasnt hidden. i looked. oh boy did i look. no chocolate. which is probably just as well. im pretty sure this jelly isnt vegetarian. oh wellll. i had the rest of the tofu surprise this morning (it was like tofu, brocoli, cherry tomatoes, mushrooms... some squash....all seasoned up with lemon pepper and baked with a tony bit o cheese on the top. although for some reason by the time i got to it last night basically all the cheese had gone, so i cant even feel guilty about the excessive mozarella...) omg ive got today and tomorrow and then its WEIGH IN TIMEEE! how terrifying is that. bloody terrifying i tell thee. all that tofu will have attached to my ass and ill be 5 lbs heavier. fucks sake. i need to do some more exercise. i haaadddd.... about 6 drinks last night (im a lightweight now) i wonder if they will have made a difference. i dont think so but u never know. alcohol has EMPTY CALORIESSSS!!! its like drinking sugar, that makes you easy, hahahahaa. theres a surfing competition today, im wondering if i should go. i think i should. janine is modeling in a bikini competition. i think she wants the moral support (have a little fanbase of one person) so i might go, be her groupie. ya know. my dad might come too and take some pictures. not of janine, of the surfers. that sounded a little creepy. hahaha oh dear! im gunna make some more sugar free jellyyyyy!

picturesss

the sunburn looks alot worse in person ahahaha. i need something to do!

god damn

all i want is a fucking massive chocolate cake! hot damn give me some BROWNIES!!! *chugs glass of water* i never thought about food while i was allowed to eat it all. now im focused on losing weight im OBSESSED with food i cant have!!! if i havent lost any weight by monday ill be depressed. deep depression. i want 2 lbs! ill be ok with 1 lb, 2 and ill be over the freekin moon. then ill know i just have to keep it up and ill be smokin by the time i get home. i keep thinking "imagine all the great sex i can have once im thin" hahahaha. silly thought but its keeping me going. nobody likes a fat chick. except chubby chasers. i hope u know who isnt a chubby chaser, athough he did squeeze my love handle when we were making out. not just a little squeeze, he full on squoze it. i mean its not a boob! its a fat roll. oh well!!!! im listening to the shins. man those brownies look good......

no water?

so the water has been off all day, and its still off. hello third world country! welcome home holly!
so i have just finished my personal statement for my university application, which i shall be uploading soonish. how freaky, then i need to get my old university to send transcripts.
i spent most of the day by the pool today. i have a very very slight tan going on now, yu can see it on my back, there is a nice tanline by my bum (oooh erh)
i should compile a list of things that i would like to do before i go home.
•lose some weight
•dye my hair darker than it is
•get more tanned
•firm up
•go swimming every day (ive done that so fa at least!)
•go on the internet less
•bla bla bla

if i actually had somehting to do i wouldnt have to go on the internet so much so its kinda pointless saying that. i should have put FIND SOMEHTING TO DO. im going to work for my mum on friday, doing property inventories or somehting.

david bowie and maximo park wil help me through these 2 long months on islandville.
here are some songs in particularly enjoying at the moment:
•david bowie - john, im only dancing
•maximo park - books from boxes
•maximo park - grafitti
•al green - tired of being alone
•arctic monkeys - flourescent adolescent
•bombay bicycle club - always like this
•chase & status - end credits
•the darkness - i believe in a thing called love
•does it offend you yeah? - dawn of the dead
•florence and the machine - dog days are over
•franz ferdinand - do you wanna
•the futureheads - hounds of love
•grizzly bear - two weeks
•the libertines - dont look back into the sun
•the maccabees - about your dress
•passionpit - little secrets
•vampire weekend - campus

thats just to name a few :P

I REALLY NEED A SHOWER!

urghh

its been about 2 months since my last blog
which looking back on, is a load of bollocks.
im back home. ive been here 24 hours and im tearing my hair out already.
fucks sake hahaha.
its actually pretty typical
about a week ago i hooked up with someone i actually quite fancy at a work thing
and then poooft! i have to come back to barbados
dont get me wrong, im not all upset about being home because i like someone
im upset about being at home because its awfull here
al my friends want to do is drink and party
which i did before when i lived here because it was all there was to do
but now i dono.... i just dont fancy going and getting plastered and hooking up with a random tourist
and lets face it, the selection of local guys here is pretty poor.
anyway moving along!
as im here for ages and ages ive decided im going to attempt to lose 17 lbs to be exact
which works ut to about 2 lbs a week
which doesnt sound too dificult
i say that, but i always make these plans and never follow them through
althouth i think im pretty motivated for this one
not too sure why
im just fed up of being flabby i guess

anyway! this moning i went for a swim, did 50 laps of the pool. thats got to do me some good right? im totally bored of blogging already. i shall find the inspiration to do another update soon!!! laters taters x

always look on the bright side of life

recent events have me really re-evaluating things
i really need like i need to go home for a little bit
like ive come ever so slightly out of touch with myself
i need to go to the beach and to the gym with janine
i need to see kira
i need to see my family
i need to remember why i came to england in the first place
to realise that there isnt anything in barbados for me anymore
even if sometimes it hurts being so far away form everything i know
and everyone i know
the people i know and love arent there anymore
with the exception of my parents of corse
home isnt really home anymore
but i dont have a home here either
i havent made a home for myself yet
im so happy and thankful for the friends i have made along the way in england so far
but its just not the same as it was with my friends in barbados
its sad that ever time i meet a boy i always think in my head "you can never possibly mean as much to me as my friends do"
even though i havent seen kira and janine for ages i think about them every day
every time something goes right
every time somehting goes wrong
i just want to be able to ring them up and tell her whats going on, as its going on
i dont really have the kind of friendship with anyone in england that i can just call them and go "omigosh i just saw a tranny in the supermarket"
someone who will just meet me for a coffee on a whim
someone who will listen to me blab on about boys and work and family
or people who i can hang out with without feeling like i need to keep talking
cuz scilence isnt awkward with them


recet events also have my feeling like i need to make changed with myself
nothing major
nothing personality wise
i just know ive let myself go since i got to england
and i need to start taking better care of myself
lose some weight, thats the main bit
anyway

all said, i am actually really happy
im in such a better place compard to this time last year
and a million times better than the year before

other things i want

golden girls on dvd
all the harry potter films on dvd
to see kira
new keyrings
a jumper

ringa ding ding

right! I havent dont one of THESE in a while!

so i figured while i'm sitting here watching jeremy kyle and drinking my morning coffee, i might aswell do a bit of an update!

well, im free single and ready to mingle! i guess thats new.

work is going really really well, even though ive got an outrageous tan, but only on my legs, arms and face. I think im browner than i ever have been in my life, which is wierd seeing as i lived in barbados for 12 years!

Speaking of barbados, im going to go back for christmas, my brother is going there tomrorow, with his wife and baby, thats another new thing! im an aunt! baby tristan, or triscuit as i call him hahaha. I cant wait to meet him. i have some things to post them (a hat, shirt and teddybear)
man i so totally cant be bothored to write blogs anymore haha, i just feel so uninspired
OH OH OH i saw harry potter last night, it was magical haha, i kept feeling like i was being sucked into the screen, and it felt like i was almost htere, which i guess is the point of the films.

do you know what i miss? lifetime. as in the TV channel, with its made for tv movies, with all the love affairs and murders and rape, and people too young to be fathers but it happens anyway. and golden girls. I WANT LIFETIMEEEE!

moving on.

things i want:

a white iphone
my own flat
long hair that isnt split up the wazoo
fish and chips
a superdry t-shirt
beetroot soup
snow
a curling iron
new music
more mugs

why do people always think im on drugs? i know i speak a million miles an hour and im a bit of a wierdo, but DRUGS?? people wish they chould be this strange by taking a substance! haha

i was dropped on my head as a child. FACT.

my daddy is coming to visit me next month, im really excited about it, ive got some time off of work for it. hurrraahh! we are going to look at cars and stuff, because my parents r buying me a car, how awesome is that :)

anyway i dont know what to write anymore so i think im gunna vamoose. play farmtown on facebook, thats an order!

my fucking little cousin is playing the fucking sims on my fucking laptop and she wont fucking shut up

"im reading a book! holly im reading a book!"

"great"

"im calling a sim! im calling a sim holly!"

"fantastic"

"im making her have a shower! a shower holly she is having a shower"

"very nice"

"can i invite the headmaster over holly? i have visitors! visitors holly! should i greet them holly, the nanny is here, why cant i control the nanny? why isnt the nanny in my family?how do they go to bed how do they get to bed? do i nee to click the stairs? how... its party time its not bed time! they have to go to bed now awww, but the party is starting, how do u get upstairs, they have a balcony, gow do i get inside the house how do i get inside the house? we are ontop of the roof, i need a bed why dont we have a bed can me sim sleep in the bed? she is going to bed, she is in bed"

KILL MEEEE

ma ma ma ma ma ma nailsss

im not hungry, i just wanna eat

i wont though

i got home from work at 8-ish, then i took off the acrylic nails i had done last week thursday. lasted quite long honestly, for mr. a week and a day? ages!

then i jogged/power walked on the treadmill for 45 mins

now im knackered having a cup of tea. gunna go to bed soon.

the hole time i was jogging i just kept thinking about putting my work shorts on and them fitting loosely instead of all close fitting and stuff, and then having to ask for a smaller size at cast reception

motivationnnn!

but god im knackered

bleerghhh i just ate a hole medium pizza minus one slice!
sicklyyyyyy
tomorrow proper diet starts
that was IT
dee wasnt online tonight, i wonder where she went

urghhh

i have the worst hay fever ever :(
when i wake up in the morning my eyes are stuck together with green crust and all bloodshot
i can't use my nose at all
not cuz its full of snot but because i has closed itself off at the top, like, with flesh :S
i just burped a load of acid
antihistamines arent helping :(
not even when i took 2 yesterday
this morning i took one and 2 cold and flu tablets to see if that helped
i just wish i could breathe :(
and could taste these coco shreddies
i might go to the doctor and get some prescription hay fever stuff
although they will probably make me drowsy then ill kill someone at work
so all in all, hay fever sucks really.
I woke uo at 6 this morning
then thought wtf
and went back to bed till 6 30
got up, straightened my bangs, fuck the rest of it, it can stay a mess. it goes in a ponytail anyway.
came down, got some coco shreddies
did some stalking
checked deryns blog
of which she has a new one which APPARENTLY
I DO NOT HAVE PERMISSION TO READ!
ruuuudeee :P
anyway now its 7 04 so i better go and slap some makeup on
so i dont look like a zombie
and leave here at 7 30
and get stuck in traffic
and more than likely be late to work
oh-the-joys
:(
I FEEL SICK!!!

Howdy Folks

Hey Guys!

Thorpe Park is awesome.

I'm gunna go on a diet tomorrow called the "stop holly eating chocolate and nik naks at work" diet.

im doing laundry

im knackered

someone i work with needs to do laundry

and shower more often

honestly


its quite vile


so today at work there was NO RED BULL

i dono if there was a mass hangover or somehting but the red bull vending machiene, which only has red bull in it, ran out, WHAATT?

:( so i had a mars bar hahahahah

it made me feel sick but it was totally worth it!

my birthday was good

i got 500 quid from my parents, 100 quid from my grandparents, 100 quid from my aunts boyfriend, a 250 quid watch from my aunt, 40 quid from another aunt, 25 quid from an uncle, a hairdryer, pyjamas, socks, makeup, lipglosses, perfume, sparkly coat hangers, badges, a necklace from toby <3 and probably my avourite present, a bear from the build a bear workshop hahahaha, i know it wasnt like the most expensive thing or whatever, but i like it, alot. alot alot. his little heart beats when u hug him and he does a scary laugh when u suqeeze one hand, and says "i love you" when you click the other hand. and he is a crossdresser. but he is naked at the moment anyway, just bear-like.

i might get some fake nails done

like acrylic ones

maybeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!!

mygod

i just ran on the treadmill for 10 mins, holding tins of beans hahaha, deathh!

erghh

i dont need a cornetto
i dont need a cornetto
i dont need a cornetto
i dont need a cornetto
or should i say
i dont need another cornetto

25 days

since my last blog.
i'm doing this cuz apparently dee is bored with no blogs to read
sorry dee!

righty-o, so, today was my first ay at Thorpe Park
it was SOOOOO much fun!
it wasn't really a proper first day
it was my "park induction" day.

So i got there at 8 50, but i got a bit lost on the way cuz i had thorpe lane not thorpe park in my tomtom (stupid holly) so i was panicking but it was fine
went in the cast reception, gave them my name, the nice girl went "oh you arent on the list either!"
wrote my name on, obviously an error somewhere, gave me my name badge
i sat next to a nice girl called sarah and we chatted a bit
then we followed some nice girl called Suzie (how many times in this blog am i gunna say nice girl? geeze)
and we went into theeee training centre? we went into one education centre before, and this time in somewhere else, small room with comfy chairs and tables, and we were split into groups depending on birthdays, we were the pink team, then this group of boys called themselves the power rangers, then there was team supercool, and then the fantastic 5.
i was wiiith mollie, amy, lucy and erh.... another girl i feel really bad about not remembering her name because i talked to her alot
we watched a video about merlin entertainment, who own thorpe park, chessington, london eye, london dongeon and lots and lots of other attractions, and then we got this really dodgy list of questions! like
how many times wasthorpe park in the video
how many splashes were there
how many people slid down the pyramid

lots of questions like that
like wtf?!

so we came last in that team challenge, getting 3.5 out of 10. nobody got above a 5 though
then we watched more videos about fire extinguishers and stuff and other basic things
then we did more group exercises including a skit, where i was a paedo trying to take a little girl and someone hurting their ankle, our group got 38 out of 40 for that, other teams got like, 35 and 30 bahahahaha, we owned. thanks to me making everyone laugh. damn right. we were trying to emphasise points about health and safety and child safety.

theeeennn we had a lunch break, where we al sat in the canteen with the other employees and chatted bla dee bla

then we went back in, played snakes and ladders, made things out of playdough, had to rin around the park finding out information and then finished

we tied with the power rangers for first place out of all the group activities

then i got my locker key, another name badge for my coat, then i got 2 polo shirts, a fleecy jumper and a waterproof jacket in my locker. very nice.

I have a booklety thing i have to learn

it was a realy good day!

im stoked to work there

im doing "experience" rides, not "thrill" rides so im working on the water rides, the rapids, the banana ride bahaha an other things for wusses and children, still fun! just not the huge rollercoasters, but i can be switched if i want to. i'm not bothored.

I have my ride induction next week friday then I start working! all very exciting!!!

i wont leave it this long before i do another blog, promise

much love!!! xxx

lovely

jen and ia re outside in shorts and bikini tops soaking up some sun
my legs are so pale they glow
and ive got nice chair marks on the back of my legs
i was going to go in th jacuzzi but its like sub zero temperatures in there
i stuck a foot in and it was like ice water
someone turned the heat off over christmas!
so we have been bouncing on the mini trampoline instead
really really gorgeous day

april 2nd

That was VILE!
I woke up at 7, determined to go on a jog this morning,
so thats exactly what i did.
i got up, but some jogging bottoms on and some running shoes,
had some oatabix,
called my aunt to ask if she was coming
then we headed out at 7 30 with the dogs.
we started jogging down the road, and about quarter a mile maybe? i was like,
oh dear we need to stop.
then i got THAT FEELING
the one i get every time i pass out
i useta feel like that when i went jogging ages ago but then it was ok
and i could run for about 20 mins on the treadmill at the gym without feeling sick
anyway i was like "i need to sit down"
so i did
then i puked about 10 times
and then i was fine
but god did i feel awfull
really really rank
so i came back, had a shower, and now im watching jeremy kyle while having a cup of tea

april 1st

HAPPY APRIL FOOLSSS!!!!

ug!

im never eating spaghetti again
IM SO BLOATED
im going to explode

tooth decay? no way!

hello hello hello!

its really, REALLY windy today. and rainy. i'm not sure where my aunt has gone, maybe she is in her roooom.

u know what i love? how some people LOOOOVEEE to complain how they are soooo large, but they never even make an effort to shrink themselves.

today ive haaadddddd some cereal (102 cals) some soup (300 cals) and a wee bit o chocolate. not sure what i'll have for supper.

i went to the dentist today, for a checkup, i have to go and get 2 of my molars sealed, cuz apparently... they need sealing haha, also apparently the wisdom teeth on the right side of my heeeead are.... stuck hahaha. wedged at a jaunty angle. supposedly they might move and carry on their merry way. but they may also not. i bet they are FINE! the bottom one on the left is totally out and the top one on the left is almost fully out. so all gravy. the right side is just taking its time. there is no way im having them pulled out. NOWAY. so the dentist appointment and the sealing next week cost me 188 quid, ouch ouch ouch! the dude also said i need a night thing to stop me grinding my teeth, but its 95 quid so NOTHANKS. i dont even think i grind my teeth in me sleep, i think its from when i was younger.i did grate my teeth for a while back then, bleh, remember the sound grating teeth make, makes me feel queasy.

so my aunt and i went out to dinner last night with her friend stuart, to some pubby restaurant called the royal oak. It was nice, i haaadd scrambled duck egg with smokes salmon to start, and then had a lemon sole, with chips, but i didnt eat all of the chips hahaha, the fish was really nice. then we shared a crem brulee and a rhubarb trifle, then we had coffeeee, and i had a cappuccino, and then a macciato. i also had like half a glass of wine but i was driving so i didnt even drink it all.

i drove stuarts car back to the house and flippen heck, when you drive a car that you arent accustomed to driving its a little bit scary. all the pedals n my car are really responsive and on stuarts, you practically had to slam no the breaks for them to work. it was an older golf (like, older than mine, the old style) but it was quite nice honestly. i'd drive one (as long as it didnt have dodgy breaks)

saw slumdog millionaire night before last, it was really good, not at all what i expected. i didnt really want to see it because everyone said it was so good, but i actually ejoyed it, the little kid actors were really good too. aww. nice film (well kinda nice kinda depressing and morbid).

i was ment to go to a comic thing with my friend jake on saturday but I can't now cuz my aunt is going to brighton for the weekend and my cousin ben is having some friends over, and we cnt have them home alone, wrecking the place haha. sorry jakey cakes, next one!

tulips and daffodills

I don't know why I let food control my life.
I find it easiest if i just don't start eating.
Once I start, I just can't stop.
Literally, the food takes a hold of me and I have no control of it.
None.
At all.
I can't just have "a piece of cheese" or "a slice of toast"
it always turns into more.
I can't just have one
I cant leave things
I cant even just eat half
I want to be hypnotized haha

goodmorning!

i'm just full o love today!
the sun is shining, the spring flowers are out
i might go on a walk laterrr with the dogs, get some fresh air
i need a shower
there is a gremlin lurking on my neck
i tried to squeeze it but i dont think its ready
hey ho!
I GOT A NEW CAMERAAHHHH!
cost me like 200 quid
but i lovvveee it
my old one was lame
LAME
this one is awesome
i would buy a DSLR if i had the cash
but their so expensive and then you need to buy lenses aswell
which are SO expensive
one day :)
i wanted to work at thorpe park for the summer
cuz ur basically outside all the time runing about making sure people are strapped in the rides
but they only had vacancies for food and beverage :(
DEFINALELY don't want to do that
maybe i'll keep checking back and see if there is anything!

100 thingies

1. ONE OF YOUR SCARS, HOW DID YOU GET IT?.
theres a nice scar on my left elbow from when i was really little, i was in bed and i felt a scrape, so i went downstairs and told my parents there was a piece of plastic in my bed and i couldnt find it. they told me to go back to bed, so i did and it sliced my elbow open. nice. haha

2. WHAT IS ON THE WALLS IN YOUR ROOM?
in my room in barbados there was lots and lots of crap, but my room in england is fairly plain






3. DO YOU SNORE, GRIND YOUR TEETH, OR TALK IN YOUR SLEEP?
uumm no not really, i think i may have talked in my sleep before but its not a regular thing

4. WHAT TYPE OF MUSIC DO YOU LISTEN TO?
a little bit of everything! every genre has its good and bad songs

5. DO YOU KNOW WHAT TIME YOU WERE BORN?
not a freekin clue, sometime in the evening i think, my dad was at the pub all drunk then cycled to this hospital and tried to get in the hospital bed with my mum LOL

6. WHAT DO YOU WANT MORE THAN ANYTHING RIGHT NOW?
uummmm... probably.... erh..... actually nothing to be honest

7. WHAT DO YOU MISS?
my family, how things were when it was me and mum and dad and andrew and it was just us, then andrew left, hasnt really been the same since, but hey, im happy not to be in barbados anymore

8. WHAT IS YOUR MOST PRIZED POSSESSION?
maybe my locket

9. HOW TALL ARE YOU?
5 foot 7. i was ment to be 5 foot 11 but i ingerited my dads short legs

10. DO YOU GET CLAUSTROPHOBIC?
nope but i am afraid of the dark, petrified inface

11. DO YOU GET SCARED IN THE DARK?
LOL yes. very. only if im alone though

12. THE LAST PERSON TO MAKE YOU CRY?
i dont think people ever make me cry, its always to do with myself haha

13. WHAT’S YOUR WORST FEAR?
being poor (sounds horrible but its true)

14. WHAT KIND OF HAIR/EYE COLOR DO YOU LIKE ON THE OPPOSITE SEX?
blueeee eyes, any kind of hair lol

15. WHERE CAN YOU SEE YOURSELF BEING PROPOSED TO AT?
like, over dinner witht he ring hidden in the chocolate pudding or somehting then i accidentally swallow it, then after a romantic trip to the hospital where i get my stomach pumped or something theres nothing more to say really LOL

16. COFFEE OR ENERGY DRINK?
both, i drink alot of coffee but redbull is deliciously tangy

17. FAVORITE PIZZA TOPPING?
i say i dont like pizza, its all a lie. mmmm probably goats cheese and lots of caramelised onions, yummyy!

18. IF YOU COULD EAT ANYTHING RIGHT NOW, WHAT WOULD IT BE?
i have a tummy ache no im so not hungry, chewing some gum. although there is an easter egg infront of me and its calling my name.

19. FAVORITE COLOR OF ALL TIME?
pink! or lime green, but probably pink

20. HAVE YOU EVER EATEN A GOLDFISH?
hahahhaha not that i know of

21. WHAT WAS THE FIRST MEANINGFUL GIFT YOU’VE EVER RECEIVED?
mmmmm.... my parents were always pretty good at giving meaningful presents, but then again so are janine and kira, so im not sure.

22. DO YOU HAVE A CRUSH?
not really

23. ARE YOU DOUBLE JOINTED?
only kinda in my wrist a little, i wish i was though, it would be awesome to do the splits lol

24. FAVORITE CLOTHING BRAND?
uummm american eagle, roxy, hollister (although i cant fit into half of the things they make)

25. WHO IS THE HOTTEST FEMALE/MALE CELEBRITY?
female? i dont know honestly, their all really pretty, gwen steffani is petty hot. jake ghyllenhaal is hottest male for sure. donny darko = very yes

26. DO YOU HAVE A PET RIGHT NOW?
not right now :(

27. WHAT KIND IS IT?
malibu <3



28. WOULD YOU FALL IN LOVE KNOWING THAT THE PERSON IS LEAVING?
I dont think you can really stop yourself falling in love, but i would hope that wouldnt happen

30. SAY A NUMBER FROM ONE TO A HUNDRED:
18

31. BLONDES OR BRUNETTES?
either! i've always wanted to go blonde for a bit maybe, but i love dark hair, its shinier

32. ARE YOU RELIGIOUS
the church of noise

33. HOW DO YOU SEE YOURSELF DYING?
probably after being diagnosed with cancer or something horrible, maybe a terrible bone rotting disease in my face

34. HAVE YOU BEEN OUT OF THE UK?
yep, first time was when i was 6 months old or something. I grew up in the caribbean and ive beeen tooo :
Barbados, Italy (x2), Spain, France, Teneriffe, Margarita, Puerto Rico (x4), Florida (x2), Seattle, New York, Rhode Island, St. Vincent, Bequia, Antigua, Pensylvania, i'm sure im forgetting places

35. YOUR WEAKNESSES?
chocolate, gossip

36. MET ANYONE FAMOUS?
uummm Cilla Black? hahaha

37. FIRST JOB?
doing some officy things for my mum but my first ever proper job was working in a coffee shop in Barbados

38. EVER DONE A PRANK CALL?
of corse, what child hasnt

39. DO YOU THINK EVERYONE OUT THERE HAS A SOULMATE?
maybe not, im not sure about this whole soulmate business

40. WHAT WERE YOU DOING BEFORE YOU FILLED THIS OUT?
browsing facebook, before that we took the range rover to the garage for servicing

41. HAVE YOU EVER HAD SURGERY?
nopeee! but ive been in hospital overnight before, when i was like 4 i woke up with a dead leg. not like gangreen, i just couldnt move it at all

42. WHAT DO YOU GET COMPLIMENTED ABOUT MOST?
my eyes, my white teeth thanks to crest white strips, and that i smell nice. also on my freckles for some reason, and my hair being freaskishly thick

43. HAVE YOU EVER HAD BRACES?
i did, for about 10 months. I had a headgear and all, sexyyy! I needed them though, years of thumb sucking gave me an overbite

44. WHAT DO YOU WANT FOR YOUR BIRTHDAY?
i wanted to see my family and kira and janine but i dont think thats going to happen.

45. HOW MANY KIDS DO YOU WANT?
between 2 and 5

46. WERE YOU NAMED AFTER ANYONE?
nope! my parents just liked the name

47. WHAT IS THE BIGGEST TURN OFF OF THE OPPOSITE SEX?
body odor.

48. WHAT IS ONE THING YOU MISS ABOUT SCHOOL?
seeing my friends every day

49. WHAT KIND OF SHAMPOO DO YOU USE?
right now im using herbal essences but i bought some timotei stuff for when it runs out because im skint and it was cheap and smells really nice

50. DO YOU LIKE YOUR HANDWRITING?
i do, its nice and bubbly. i write best with a cheap biro. i LOVE free pens.

51. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE LUNCH MEAT?
i'm a vegetarian lol

52. ANY BAD HABITS?
talking too much, probbly about things i shouldnt be talking about anyway, obsessive skin picking, not being tidy enough

53. ARE YOU A JEALOUS PERSON?
nope, im afraid not

54. IF YOU WERE ANOTHER PERSON, WOULD YOU BE FRIENDS WITH YOU?
no i cant stand people who talk alot

55. DO YOU AGREE WITH FRIENDS WITH BENEFITS?
sure why not, but then i dont like it when those friends have benefits with other people. so more like friends with benefits who cant fool around with other people.

56. DO LOOKS MATTER?
yes but not as much as personality

57. HOW DO YOU RELEASE ANGER?
i have a mental breakdown a couple of times a year, but i dont tend to get angry

59. WHAT’S YOUR MAIN GOAL IN LIFE?
money money money money

60. WHAT WAS YOUR FAVORITE TOY AS A CHILD?
wuggie, who was a bit of sheep's skin from my push chair when i was a baby and i kept onto a bit of it, not really a toy i know but it was my version of a teddy or a blankie, untill my mum threw wuggie away

61. HOW MANY NUMBERS ARE IN YOUR MOBILE?
i wouldnt count it but i honestly cant find my mobile right now, its probably under my bed

62. WERE YOU A FAN OF BARNEY AS A LITTLE KID?
no i hated that shit. anything educational i was so not interested in.

63. DO YOU USE SARCASM?
a little, i dont go overboard with it, i dont like mean sarcasm

64. MASHED POTATOES OR MACARONI AND CHEESE?
either please hahaha perhaps both. maybe mac and cheese. depends what you are having it with to be honest

65. WHAT DO YOU LOOK FOR IN A GUY/GIRL?
mmmm... i dont really look for things, i just enjoy what i find (or sometimes i dont enjoy what i find haha)

67. WHAT ARE YOUR NICKNAMES?
holl, holls, when i was younger my dad called me hollsy bear and tiger nose because i had a cute little one, now its massive so that name kinda went out the window

68. WHAT’S YOUR FAVORITE TV SHOW?
greys anatomy, skins and eastenders! and the jeremy kyle show haha

69.WHAT’S THE BEST WAY TO DEAL WITH YOUR ENEMIES?
ignore them completely

70. WHAT’S YOUR FAVORITE ICE CREAM FLAVOR?
cookie dough or that amazing ben and jerries brownie one (behemian raspberry or half baked)

71. DO YOU HAVE ALL YOUR FINGERS AND TOES?
thankfully hahaha

72. DO YOU HAVE A COMPUTER IN YOUR ROOM?
yeah its andrews english one, its alow as crap and drives me beserk so i dont use it

73. PLANS FOR TONIGHT?
nothing thus far, i went a bit overboard with the booze the night before last so im trying to recover still hahaha

74. WHAT’S THE FASTEST YOU’VE EVER GONE IN A CAR?
way too fast to be honest hahaha, also andrew drives like a nutter, i coudnt tell you exactly though

75. DO YOU WANT EVERYONE TO ANSWER THESE QUESTIONS?
not really, this is a blog haha

76. WHAT ARE YOU LISTENING TO?
this morning is on tv so that

77. LAST THING YOU DRANK?
i'm drinking some V8 raspberry pomegranate juice or somehting at the moment

78. LAST PERSON YOU TALKED TO ON THE PHONE?
toby i think before i fell asleep, cant find my phone now hahaha

79. THE FIRST THING YOU NOTICE IN THE OPPOSITE SEX?
i dont know, thie sence of humor i guess

80. WHAT DO YOU LIKE TO DO IN YOUR SPARE TIME?
i would like to do more in my spare time than i am currently doing haha

81. FAVORITE THING TO HATE?
songs

82. FAVORITE MONTH OF THE YEAR?
i dont have one yet, maybe one day i will lol

83. WHAT’S YOUR FAVORITE TYPE OF SWEET?
mmmmm..... creme eggs? anything chocolaty really, but NOT chocolate and nuts, especially not chocolate and peanut butter, like those horrible reeses pieces

84. HAVE YOU EVER REALLY AND TRULY HAD A BEST FRIEND?
yep! kiraahh!

85. WHAT IS YOUR HAIR COLOR?
naturally a light brown goldy colour but its been black for eons, ive been growing it out for the past about.... 7 months

86. EYE COLOUR?
greeeeen, sometime they look a bit grey or bluey, theres a little browny splodge at the top

88. FAVORITE FAST FOOD PLACE?
mmmm.... chefette (all potato roti, amazing)

89. FAVORITE RESTAURANT?
i dont go to restaraunts alot, scarlet where i useta work is pretty awesome. Wild Ginger in seattle was really good too.

90. DO YOU LIKE SUSHI?
yes! i love it, especially tuna sashimi

91. LAST THING YOU WATCHED?
movie - tristan and isolde, on tv- right now im watching this morning

92. FAVORITE DAY OF THE YEAR?
mmmmm.... maybe christmas because im with my family although i wasnt this year

93. PLAY ANY MUSICAL INSTRUMENTS?
when i was in highschool i was in the handbell choir, because im a winner. I could play the piano when i was young but i've forgotten how now, it doesnt help that i can't read music

94. PIERCINGS OR TATTOOS?
piercings maybe because you can take them out, but tattoos done well can look awesome, i like watching LA ink, i think if i was going to get a tattoo done, it would be there haha. Tattoos done badly just look really awfull and you have basically ruined your skin forever

95. KISSES OR HUGS?
both :) maybe hugs

96. RELATIONSHIPS OR ONE NIGHT STANDS?
well i've never had a one night stand so i cant compare but id probably go for the relationship, altho those can be crap sometimes hahaa, spouse abuse!

97. WHAT WAS THE LAST THING YOU BOUGHT?
i went grocery shopping last night and got 120 quid of random stuff lol the last thing i bought with MY money was a pizza after sarah and i got trolleyed

98. DO YOU HAVE A LOW SELF ESTEEM OR A HIGH SELF ESTEEM?
depends on how i feel that day haha

99. WHAT BOOK ARE YOU READING?
PS i love you

100. DESCRIBE YOUR LIFE:
well short summary,
I was born and raised in a suburb of london, i went to a lovely school and realy enjoyed my life to be honest, then when i was 8 my parents decided to up and leave to barbados, i didnt even get to finish the school year, it was like a split second decision and we just up and left (sounds dodgy huh). I didnt like barbados and probably spent too much time feeling sorry for myself and missing home. i went to school, went to university, made some amazing friends i will never forget, did alot of travelling, moved back to england at the ripe old age of 20! and here i am! my life has been pretty awesome to be honest, and im extremely lucky and i dont take anything i have for granted.

extreme happiness

did weigh in, lost 7 lbs :D

2-4-6-8 this diet is really great! ahaha

when i lose another 7 im going to treat myself to a blazer :)

I like the dorothy perkins black boyfriend blazer :)

hai thar

down one belt hole! thats right

now im on the smallest hole on this belt

then i have a smaller one in my cupboard i cant wear at the moment

i'm afraid that when i weigh in tomorrow the wii fit will be like UR OBEESE, WA WA OOPS

i'll kick it across the room hahaha

no not really.... it was like 120 quid

but ya, so to celebrate going down a belt hole i ordered 3 shirts and 2 pairs of jeans online

i wanted to find a nice blazer but they didn't have any in my size, poo sticks ey

anna and olivia are coming tomorrow for a week! i have to pick them up from heathrow at 11 am

i'll drag em shopping and hopefully i can find a nice blazerrr on our travels

it's going to be a good week :)

blah!

my sister is getting on my grits about not eating enough

im a vegetarian, i basically live on vegetables and salmon, and the good kind of veggies too

not potatoes n shiz. and i dont eat pasta

occasionally i have a naughty chocolate bar or some fish and chips when im out with my friends

but generally, i dont pump grease and carbs into my body

so the way i see it, im large cuz i eat too much! simple

so solution = dont eat so much

however apparently this is totally unacceptable

never mind that she is bigger than me anyway

just when u want people to be supportive

whatever, i dont need peoples anyway!

however when my aunty jen isnt home i tend to just like.... raid the fridge

ok fine fine i binge i admit it

not all the time *cough*

its boredom eating anyway

its going to stop

but honestly, fancy trying to kick someone off the wagon as soon as they've got on it

thanks alot!

i went to bed at 9 last night! after eastenders

i couldnt really sleep though i was just trying to stop myself from late night fridge surfing

its pancake day today! guess who isnt having pancakes :(

me

im on a pooey diet

well im not really on a diet im just not eating crappy stuff any more 

like bread and fish and chips and cookies when i get coffee oorrr u kno... chocolate sometimes

sucking all the fun out of life

i was really looking forward to pancake day too hahaha

i fully plan on participating in easter egg eating though

oh yes

creme eggs were my favourite as a kid

and they stiiill are :)

AH HAH! i KNEW they got smaller

1.6 oz down to 1.2

the cheek

monday

last night i went and chopped about 6 inches off of my hair with kitchen scizzors

it needed to go

i was spending all my time looking for split ends and then splitting them untill they broke

it feels really nice now though

silky silky! all the nasty ends are gone

i hate to see the state of my bath though

i think i need to invest in some drain cleaner now

i need more friends, who live around here, to go and get coffee with me lol.

anywho! my brothers wifes sister and her half sisters half sister are coming to visit on friday!

we are going to do lots of touristy things and have a hunky dory time lol

on tuesday we are going to paris on the euro star for a night to go to the lurve and stuff

good times :)

im back!

from up noooorth! 

im never drinking again

challenge

lets see how long i can go without eating solid food

i hate

peanut m&ms

1 42 pm

miso soup with tofu

day 2

i feel
fat and bloated
but i blame my period
that started yesterday
bleehh!
for breakfast i had a cup of coffee and 2 small glasses of v8
i dont feel hungry though
half way through the ironing is the worst time to find a stain
tragic

starvation?

today :

• 2 cups of tea

• 1 cup of coffee

• 2 cups of v8 juice

• 2 cups of miso soup 

• a few chunks of tofu

• 1.5 eggs

i wont get fat eating this lol

miso soop

jen and i are going on a strictly miso soup only diet

and u kno... coffee and tea of corse

untill the wedding which is on saturday

if not eating anything works though, i might keep it up haha

wowza

i gained 5 lbs over the past 10 days. now quite sure if it was worth THAT

not much i can do about it now though!

i enjoyed the foods while i was eating it hahaha

my cousin got this pizza gtom dominoes with this bbq sauce base

i had a bite

it was amazing

AMAZING

i only had a bite though

today ive had

2 boiled eggs

some leftover curry (only a little)

a yoghurt

uummm

a cup of tea

some soup

and supper, which was a salad with roasted veggies

i feel quite full lol

i took 3 laxatives last night

might take some more tonight seeing as im not going anywhere tomorrow

eastenders was a bit dissapointing tonight

tisk tisk

so ive been naughty this past week

very naughty

i mean REALLY naughty

when it came to food of corse

i was an absolute angel in all other areas ;)

ive had cereal, chocolate, potatoes, fish and chips, mini cheddars, ice cream!! all so so bad!

so when i get on the wii fit tomorrow i think its going to have a mini heart attack

it was so worth it though :P

holly is pretty today

howdy peeps!

its been a while

a week to be exact

sorry.

anywhoozle.

so much has been happening

snow snow snow

snowmen

snowball fights

more snow related activities.

i've been seeing my friend who recently had a baby (called chloe)

she threw up in my hair

chloe not my friend

shees very very very sweet

i have to go to gatwick soon to get my aunt

what fun!

she lands in an hour and 40 mins

takes about an hr to get there

well an hr and 15

so im gunna leave here soon

i wonder if i can drag my cousin with me

see you next time for another exciting installment of "whats going on with holly!"

here i sit on the loo, having a poo.

thats right, im  a lovely lady who likes to sit on the toilet in the morning

macbook on knee

pondering about the day to come.

i have to go and drive my aunt to gatwick soon.

then i might just come straight back home or i might go get some lunch with a friend.

i havent quite decided yet!

thindom is in sight

i fee prettyyyy oh so prettyyy!

well not so much but i do feel thinner!

my coat felt rather large on the walk today

and the foldy bit that usually sticks out at the back didnt stick out as much as usual

:) goood times

im gunna try NOT to have a second helping of supper tonight

i usually do... baaad holly lol. a small helping though!

watch this space hahaha

Vegetarian Low Carb Shepherd's Pie

2 medium onions

2 zucchinis 

2 carrots

lots of mushrooms

2 cloves of garlic

1 orange pepper

1 red pepper

1 tin of chopped tomatoes

2 vegetable stock pots

a big splash of worcestershire sauce

on top :

a cauliflower (steamed and mashed with sour cream)

a sprinkling of cheese

chop, cook, etcetera, assemble in a dish, bake

et voila!

yummy :)

 

yes siree

just went on a long long doggy walk

in the cold

down a muddy trail

down to the stream

past houses and fields and loveliness 

bali is currently chewing the leg off of a flamingo toy

then i got home and stripped off in the utility room (oo erhh!)

and changed into clothes from the dryer (pyjamas of corse, what else?)

ad threw my muddy clothes and coat in the wash

OOOHH speaking of coats

i got a nice new coat/jacket from tescos today

i know what ur thinking

tescos? ppfftt

but honestly its really nice

white

100% cotton thankyouverymuch

not polyester or something nasty

its kinda trech coaty

but nicer

ooo ee ooo

it was £40

is that good?

i thought it was pretty good for a lovely coat

the 16 came up just a bit close fitting

so i got an 18

which is depressing seeing as im a 14 in everything else

anyway they say you shouldn't get married to a dress size, right?

nobody knows what size you are wearing besides you

and its not the clothes that make you look fat...

its the fat that makes you look fat

ooo

according the the wii fit

ive lost 5 lbs since the 19th

would be good if i could lost 5 lbs every 10 days!

thursday 29th

gooooodmooooning cyberworld!

i'm feeling mighty fine today

a bit hayfeverish

which is strange seeing as there is no hay

liquid hermasetas are amazing

i'm depressed because there is nobody interesting to talk to online

im considering going back to stickam

my nails are still growing faster on my right hand than on my left

i chewed off all the nailpolish last night

i'm worried im going to damage them and then their going to split then im going to bite my nails again :(

i'm only one month into my new years resolution and im already worried about breaking it! 

ergh

i feel so restless

angry

itchy

aggressive

pent up

volatile 

mad

crazy

my brain feels heavy

what i would like to eat right now

• a big sqwidgy crusty half baked brownie

• some chocolate buttons

• vienetta

• cookie dough ice-cream

• any other kind of ice-cream

• a java chip frappuccino

• pan au chocolat

• chocolate cake

• cheesecake

• lemon meringue pie

• dairy milk

• malteasers

• minstrels

• white chocolate malteasers

• minty cornetto

• anything chocolaty minty cakey cookie like or brownie-ish 

enjoying a nice cup of chai tea

well.... im boiling the kettle

to make a nice cup of chai tea

which i shall enjoy.

im getting the knack of this pixelmator

its good!

i think i need to do a tutorial in it though

learn how to do fancy things

i am now stewing my chai teabag in boiling water

in my thorpe park mug

ring ring ring ring ring ring ring

banana phoneeeee

i dont like bananas.

i cant eat them

yet i find myself strangely attracted to them

not eating carbohydrates is affecting my mental health

and they were good

two poos today

goals

• go down a belt hole, making this belt too big

• fit into the new belt (medium)

• become 11 stone

• become a size 10

• control my appetite

• get a job

• buy a car

• get into a psychiatry program

oh and btw

i hate bananas

just incase you got the wrong impression :P

humm

tits im bored.

nothing to dooo

nothing to eatttt

cuz i dont wanna be obeeeseeee

today ive had 2 boiled eggs

broccoli soup

a baby bel

later its salmon and steamed asparagus

i do luuuurve me some salmon

but boy what i would do for a big hunk of buttered bread and some tomato soup!

.

i'm worrying so much that my stomach hurts

...

i dont even know how to feel.

i feel worried

i feel like crying

i wish i could be there but i cant

and i still dont want to be there really

but i want to help.

the police took my brother home at 3 am this morning for crashing my car into a pole

he was in handcuffs because he was being rude and violent

he was staggering and slurring

he told my parents he was sober

they didnt believe him

he called my mum the worst mum in the world

which is really really unfair

because she is the best mum in the world

they have done so much for him

spend so much time and money on him

and he just dosent seem to care

then he went into the kitchen

and cut his hand open with a kitchen knife

because they didnt believe him

infront of my mum and his pregnant wife

who found him standing there with blood dripping

im so worried

whats wrong with him??

i dont even care that my car is wrecked

he said he had been ran off the road by another car

which he blatantly hadnt

why lie

why not say

ok im drunk

i crashed it

i'm sorry

can i go to bed now?

ug

UG

:(

i wish i was there

number 3?!

note to self 

• you are lactose intolerant stop drinking hot chocolate

number 2

second poo of the day

what a wonderful life

om nom nom

so i didnt gain any weight over the weekend

which is good considering i pretty much ate 2 pints of ben and jerry's icecream

sharing what? lol

behemian raspberry and phish food

MMM

i repeat

MMMMMMM

but i gotta get on the weightloss wagon before my aunts wedding in February

which is why today ive had half a mushrom omelette for brunch

and salmon with steamed brocolli, cauliflower and peppers for dinner

yuumm

ive haddd.... erhh.. 3 cups of tea and a cup of coffee too

i weigh 13.5 stone

eh??

new belt too big?? what is this madness??

i'm making a quorn sausage omelette!

wii fit said i was a lb lighter than yesterday, wooot!

might just be waterloss from the pills tho

hey ho?

i'm down a total of 4 lbs i think

i gotta stop cheating on my diet

i had a baked potato last night

and some cheesecake

naughtyyy!

omelette omelette omelette!

i need a shower

i need to dye my hair

i dont want toooo

why cant someone do it for meeee?

my camera never arrived so i cancelled my order.

lets check my bank balance!

i've spent 200 quid this month

on the dot!

and that included paying for my drivers license application which was 54 quid

wheeyyy :)

my omelette is almost cooked

i spent 23 quid at stationary office?

i dont even know what stationary office is!

OOOHHHH that was my highway code!

ha ha

time to eat! :)

bathtime!

i just gave maxy a bath. got scissors and cut off all his dreadlocks and brushed him and sprayed him with pet deodorant.

not im trying to have a cup of tea before getting changed but ollie the cat keeps standing in front of me and pushing my laptop screen open so i cant see

gotta love it! lol

yes siree

smallest belt hole :)

new belt has been ordered!

WHEEEEYYYY

I'M NOT OBEESE ANYMOREEE!

wii fit said im overweight now

but not obese! 

HURRAAAHHHH!

-4 lbs :D

how bizarre

my nails are growing much much faster on my right hand than on my left!

having a cup of coffee and hopefully a poo before weigh in lol

i'd rather only weigh in once a week, i dono if its good to do it every day, but hey

teehee

• bust : 39 (-2)

• waist : 35" (-2)

• hips : 40" (-2)

a cup of tea and a goats cheese omelette for brekkie at 10 30. stirfry for lunch at 3 30.

wtf?

the ebay people sent me 2 more bottles of 7 day fat burner! lol

wierd

2 bottles for freee

wheeyy!

geeze

man im unhappy

fucking wii telling me im more obeese than yesterday

blah

day one

of the 7 day fat burner. 

just took 6 pills with water

then at 11 15 i'll have some omelette

and then i have to get dressed and go to bracknell to deposit a cheque

and theeeennnn doggy walk

and then i'm not sure

job searching?

i really need a job

sadface

i had a strange dream. cant remmeber it now. but i was washing spoons. 

i love kat dennings blog

for anyone who hasnt ever read it, SHAME ON YOU!

www.katdennings.com

tuesday 20th

i need to dye my hair. the box of dye is infront of me but i cant be bothored. moving on.

I did an hour and a half on the wii fit today, my legs are sore ahahhaa.

when i tried to do the push-up thing it called me a couch potato

im good at the aerobic ones though

jogging, hoola hoops, stepping, boxing, bla dee bla

my abs feel sore

if i had abs

lets re-phrase

my tummy is sore haha

last week:

• bust : 41 inches

• waist : 37 inches

• hips : 42 inches

this week :

• bust : 39 inches (-2)

• waist : 36 inches (-1)

• hips : 41 inches (-1) 

well thats not too awful is it? i inch off of my bust goal, my boobs are SOOO gunna shrink more than that.  4 inches off of my waist goal and 4 inches off of my hip goal. i can doooo it!!!!!

washingmachiiiiiiines live longer with calgon!

wii fit

told me i was obese. lovely! lol

its fun though, i like the aerobics and balance games. not so fond of the muscle training things.

hopefully it will work?

today i haaaaddd half an omelette and some salmon and salad. and 2 cups of herbal tea and 2 cups of normal tea :)

bad idea?

i just ordered some weightloss pills muaahaha. 

you take 12 a day, 6 before brekkie and 6 before lunch

and you are meant to lose a minimum of 7 lbs

worth a shot?

making a stir fry! woo hoo.

beansprouts, zuchini, some green stuff not quite sure that it is, tofu, teriyaki, amazin :P

today

we are going to get some sludge remover and remove the sludge and slime from the driveway. fun! lol
the kitchen is full of lillies. its nice.

pink, yellow and orange ones.

there are also 2 vases of red roses.

i think we need some more flowers in here hahaha

i hate

getting out of bed

weakness

i had a muller corner, some cereal and now im having some chocolate icing. i think its pms

AAAHHH THEY DONT COME OFF!!!!

NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!

as i was folding 17 pairs of pyjama bottoms, 2 pairs of jeans and about 30 t-shirts that i washed today to put away,i stumbled accross a pck of fake nails that i recieved for buying a pair of tweezers in bentals. because im bored i think, wheeyy excellent!!
so i stick em on n now i look like a cheap hooker. result!

i want to look like this again

tuesday afternoon

dog walk. i'm a bit sweaty, ew. lol. hoodie and big jacket was obviously too much clothing. 

i fell assleep really early last night. like, 7 30. i was on the phone for a whole 10 minutes then PLINK out like a light. Must have been the quorn sausage surprise. it had a few lentils in it. i'm not really allowed lentils.

holly:

bust - 41 inches (accross the boobs, not below, which i really should have measured but hey ho)

waist - 37 inches (dear god)

hips - 42 inches :(

holly's goal:

bust - 38 inches

waist - 32 inches

hips - 37 inches

that would be nice. that would make me a size 10. goooalll! 

Breakfast was some mushroom omelette - 4.8 carbs

a cup of tea - 1.75 carbs

some mustard - 1 carb

a total of 7.55 carbs.

12.45 carbs left for the day!

i've had 5 glasses of water so far today. and i'm on my second cup of tea. so thats really about 7 glasses so far. not bad!

oh, and a vitamin :P

tuesday morning

im hungry.

weather

its ghastly outside, GHASTLY!

my car is filthy

every time i go near it i get more dirt on my clothes

im filthy now too!

so i go to sainsburys to get some petrol

as i was paying i asked for a carwash thingy

but apparently my car and i are destined to be filthy cuz it was broken!

then i forgot the pin for my card

*sigh*

tofu and luttice

is amazing, omg!

376 cals

3.8 carbs

28.2 fat

hella bored

2 cups of tea and 3 boiled eggs.

that comes to 

•337 calories

•5.23g of carbs

•16.1g of fat

im trying to do the whole 20 grams of carbohydrate a day thingaling.

the boiler has been replaced so we have hot water on the second floor again, wheeyy!

which means i just had the first shower of this year.

no more baths, HAH.

i never feel quite squeaky clean after a bath.

dear job peoples,

please call me today.

thank you! 

British Gas

I got up at 7 30 to wait for the repairman, who was meant to be here at 8. its now 8 13. tut tut. 

My boyfriends brother is being stressy and therefore making my boyfriend unhappy :(

like, every time i'm there, him and his girlfriend are watching this crime show until pretty late, especially if the brother dosent have work the next day, but even if he does.

the other night we were watching a film, and it ended at about..... midnight? as soon as it was finished, the brother went and switched off the screen and then went downstairs and told HIS MUM, thats right, his mum that we were making too much noise and watching films so he couldnt sleep. this seemed a but immature and jerkish to me, if he wanded to sleep, all he had to say was "hey guys, would you mind turning it off/the volume down, i have to get up at 7 30 and i really want to go to sleep" and there you go, it would have been done. 

Never mind he dosent seem to wanna sleep when its him and his girlfriend watching a show or movie.

The funny thing is, the other night, my boyfriend had work and had to go to sleep, and they were watching a show untill about 2 am and they didnt seem to care about anyone else.

don't get me wrong, i really like these people, but i dont understand why he is being so immature.

they are 21 and 18, and i know sharing a room might be hard, but come along, they could talk to eachother, and his brother ratting to his mum and saying me and him were being noisy? your MUM?????

if you have a problem with us making noise or being in the room or anything all you have to do is SAY SO.

grow up and talk to us if there is something wrong and if you have a problem. its what ADULTS do.

4 to 1

its 12 56 on the morning on monday the 12th of January 2009.
I am sitting at the kitchen island drinking a cup of tea.
and thinking about my future.

things i want to achieve in life:

• go back to university to get a masters and a PhD in some area of psychology. maybe clinical, maybe occupational, maybe child, maybe counseling?
• have a crack at acting (optional)
• get a job as a professional/practicing psychologist
• rent a flat or house or a room in a house share while saving money
• buy own car
• buy own house
• get married (optional)
• have children
• open designer cupcake bakery and coffee shop (optional)
• retire and travel the world :)
(this list is subject to change)

In other news, I cant wait for my camera to arrive! wheeyy! excitedness!

other mini goals:

• become a size 10
• go back to natural haircolour
• become blonde, even if just for a day
• buy an iMac
• bury a time capsule
• audition for american idol or x factor
• invent something new

wow its windy outside, its howling and clashing all around the house
its a bit scary actually
i dont like it much :(
i wish there was a big strong guy here to hold me :P
bahahaha
anywhoozle i should be going to bed :)
i hope the people about the nursing assistant job contact me this week!

miso hungry bahaha

toby is playing with his new phone :)
i feel like i made him buy it though
he said he wanted a new one but couldn't decide on which one he wanted.
hey ho he seeemsss to like it anyway
i missed eastenders last night!
im hungry
miso soup?

so me and this girl megan are tetris rivals. every time se gets a high score, i beat it, and then she beats mine, bla dee blaah.
i wont let her win! haha

woozy

feel like ive been hit over the head
or i bumped it really hard on somehting
or im every so veeery very slightly hungover
when im none of the above. how strange.
i was having a wierd dream that i was making my cousin and his "brother" (in real life he dosent have a brother) egg and chips and scampi for their packed lunch. bizarre.
i was also going with my mum to get my aunty val from the train station.
there was something with my brother in it too but i cant remember what, and i dont think i actually saw him in the dream either.
i cant wait to get my camera :D
my aunty jen just made me a coffee, aww <3

wheeyy!

i ordered my camera! WHEEYY!
also, my instructor at the drivetech thing today looked like simon pegg.
i have to do a module of the online bit tomorrow, 10 am!
hooray for multiple choice questions
tuna and mayo is awesome
day 2 of diet, 42 inches accross the tummy. so we are down an inch. only 5 more to go? haha
size 10 here i come?
night folks x

celery sticks

are what im having for supper.
3 sticks with some dip i made out of half fat creme fraiche and whole-grain mustard.
not entirely bad
wont get fat eating this hahahaha

so i went on my drivers awareness thingy today.
talked about driving and stuff... surprisingly!
about what happens when you speed and stopping distances and stuff
was basically one big discussion
it was quite good
now i have to do 5 online modules in 28 days, and i can only do one every 4 days.
i'm still looking forward to it though. something to do!

:)

i feel  lot happier today!

its strange how eating can make you feel so shit

i've had 2 boiled eggs, some tofu with some broccoli and cauliflower and some grapes. 

i've also had 2 cups of tea and half a cup of coffee.

I have realized carbs make you depressed, sluggish, sleepy bloated. and they stop you concentrating.

carbs = BAD!

i want a new camera. the canon digital ixus 80 is.

MMMMM sexy <3

exercise yourself skinny

why am i so depressed today?!!?!

i'm getting a stress rash

egg only diet?

atkins?

1000 calories a day and start running?

maybe i should start running

you don't see fat runners around a lot

my pyjama bottoms are tight :(

i'm really really depressed :(

why can't i stop eating?

i just sat on my bathroom floor and cried for a while

i thought i was going to be sick

i tried willing myself to be sick

didn't work

i was being really good today untill i had a cupcake

why cant i do it

when i think about how i was thinner when i moved to england

now ive probably gained about 2 stone

im so sad :( i just wanna cry and curl up into a ball and never eat again ever

i think that there are always going to be overweight people

and that some people are just bigger than others

but why me

i think about it all the time, every day

ill never be good enough or smart enough or pretty enough

i feel like such a failure